The Complete Guide to Combining Ashes
Practical Tips on How to Combine & Scatter Ashes
For those who shared a life—whether partners, family members, or kindred spirits—there is often comfort in returning to the earth together. The idea of combining ashes speaks to an enduring bond, a unity that continues beyond the last breath.
At BONAVENTURE, we’re honored to support families through this tender decision. Whether you choose to blend ashes fully, scatter them side by side, or retain a portion at home, we handle each step with reverence and clarity.
Below is a total guide for combining ashes, if you or your family choose to do so yourselves before shipping, scattering, or storing them in a shared urn.
How to Combine Cremated Ashes at Home
A Step-by-Step Guide
Before you begin, take a moment.
This is an act of love, not a task. Light a candle. Play music if it helps. Allow yourself space to feel the weight—and beauty—of the moment.
What You’ll Need:
A clean, dry surface (a table covered with a clean towel or sheet works well)
Two (or more) urns, temporary containers, or ashes in sealed bags
A large, clean ceremonial container or mixing bowl (stainless steel or glass is ideal)
A funnel (optional, for returning ashes into a vessel)
Gloves and a face covering (optional, for comfort)
A soft brush or cloth for cleanup
A new, shared container or scattering urn if combining into one
Step 1: Prepare the Space
Choose a quiet, private space where you feel comfortable. Lay down a clean towel or soft cloth to catch any spills. Keep tissues nearby. You may want a loved one with you—or not. There is no wrong way.
Step 2: Gently Open Each Container
Cremated remains are typically delivered in a plastic bag inside an urn or box. Open each container slowly and respectfully. Take care to open only one bag at a time to prevent confusion.
If you are handling ashes of different people, pause and acknowledge each one by name. You might speak a few words aloud or silently, simply honoring the moment.
Step 3: Begin the Blending
Slowly pour a portion of the first set of ashes into your ceremonial container. Then, add a portion of the second. Alternate back and forth, like layering ingredients in a recipe, until both sets are fully blended.
Use gentle stirring motions—your hands, a clean wooden spoon, or simply tilting the bowl slowly from side to side. There's no need to mix aggressively. The act is symbolic as much as it is physical.
You might find that ashes differ slightly in color or texture. This is natural. The blending of these differences is part of the beauty.
Step 4: Transfer to the Final Vessel (Optional)
Once the ashes are blended, you may transfer them to:
A shared urn
A biodegradable scattering tube
A small portion reserved for keepsakes, like jewelry or BONAVENTURE’s memorial plaque
If needed, use a funnel to avoid spilling. Take your time. There is no rush.
Step 5: Clean Up with Intention
Use a soft brush or cloth to gently sweep any remaining ashes into the vessel. Some families choose to bury or scatter tiny remnants left behind in a flower bed, a forest, or the sea.
This moment can be as ceremonial as you wish—just as sacred as the scattering itself.
Helpful Tips:
Label Clearly: If you are sending the ashes to BONAVENTURE, label the final container clearly with both names and any specific instructions.
Don’t Force It: If you’re unsure or emotional, pause. There is no urgency. We can also assist with blending if you prefer to send ashes separately.
Use Gloves or Mask: Some prefer gloves or a light face covering to avoid any direct inhalation. This is personal and optional.
Include a Note: If you're shipping the ashes to us, a brief note with your wishes (e.g. “Please scatter as one,” or “Scatter side by side”) helps us carry out your tribute faithfully.
Ash Scattering: Permission and Legalities
Respecting the Land That Receives You
Not all landscapes are alike. National parks, protected lands, and sacred sites often have their own unique requirements for ash scattering. This includes permitting, seasonal access, and environmental best practices.
You don’t need to navigate this alone. BONAVENTURE secures all necessary permissions and ensures your ceremony complies with local, state, and federal regulations. We approach each location with humility and responsibility, preserving its beauty for generations to come.
Whether you're drawn to Yellowstone, Glacier National Park, or the Monarch Migration, we handle the logistics so you can focus on meaning, not paperwork.
Dividing or Blending Ashes
A Personal Decision with No Wrong Answer
When it comes to honoring a life—or two lives bound by love—there is no single right way. Whether you choose to blend ashes fully, scatter them side by side, or hold a portion close for the years to come, every option is valid, sacred, and deeply personal.
At BONAVENTURE, we are here to help you carry out your wishes with care, clarity, and reverence.
Blended Ashes: Unity Beyond This Life
For many couples or close loved ones, the act of blending ashes into one unified whole speaks of a bond that transcends individual identity—a love that is now inseparable, eternal.
Blending ashes before scattering them can be especially meaningful if:
You want a single location to reflect a shared resting place
You see your lives as one intertwined legacy
You plan to place the ashes in a shared urn, or include a portion in a custom memorial plaque
The ceremony becomes not just a farewell, but a reunion. One scattering. One gesture of return. One love story, completed.
Separate but Together: Two Lives, One Horizon
Some families prefer to scatter two sets of ashes side by side, without blending. This honors the individuality of each person—their unique paths, memories, and legacies—while still allowing for a unified ceremony and shared destination.
This option might be ideal when:
Each person had a distinct identity, and you want to honor that separation
You wish to keep a portion of each person’s ashes for private remembrance
You feel a symbolic pull toward two voices, two stories, resting as companions
Scattering side by side allows for closeness without convergence. It says: we were always beside each other, and we always will be.
Dividing Ashes for Multiple Memorials
You Don’t Have to Choose Just One Place
It’s a common—and beautiful—choice to divide ashes into several portions, allowing for multiple tributes across time, location, and meaning.
Ashes can be thoughtfully divided to allow for:
Multiple scattering ceremonies across destinations: perhaps in a favorite forest, near a childhood home, and along a beloved coastline
A shared public ceremony, with a private memorial at home
A portion to be blended for a Partner’s Tribute, with the rest kept in an urn or scattered at a later date
A keepsake urn or locket, while the remaining ashes are returned to nature
Wondering How to Ship Ashes? Shipping Ashes Securely
Handled with Care, Every Step of the Way
When it’s time to send ashes to BONAVENTURE, we’ll walk you through the process with clarity and compassion. For safety and legal compliance, we recommend using the USPS Cremated Remains Kit, which includes everything needed to ship through Priority Mail Express.
We’ll provide:
A simple packing checklist
Clear labeling instructions
Direct communication when the ashes are received
Once in our care, the remains are stored securely, tracked carefully, and treated with utmost respect until the ceremony is complete.
Including a Portion in a Memorial
Keeping a Small Piece Close, While Letting the Rest Return to Nature
Many families choose to retain a small portion of ashes in a handcrafted keepsake or memorial plaque. Our custom wooden tribute plaques can discreetly hold a trace amount of ashes inside, alongside engraving of names and ceremony GPS coordinates.
This creates a physical connection to the ceremony site, even as the majority of ashes return to the land, sea, or sky.
Other families choose to place a pinch of ashes in lockets, biodegradable urns, or future scattering ceremonies. We’re here to help you explore every option, and to carry it out gently.
Why People Scatter or Combine Ashes: A Guide to Modern Memorial Choices
Understanding the Meaning, Flexibility, and Comfort Behind Today’s Ash Scattering Traditions
In the past, cremated ashes were typically kept in a single urn, placed on a mantel or in a cemetery niche. But today, more and more families are choosing to scatter or combine ashes—and for good reason.
These choices are not just practical. They can be healing, symbolic, and even unifying during a time when families may feel unsure about how to move forward.
Whether you're considering a mountain scattering for a couple, a multi-location tribute, or simply deciding what feels right, this guide explores why more people are embracing flexible, creative, and deeply personal ways to honor a life.
1. Scattering Ashes Creates a Connection to Nature
Ash scattering allows us to return to the natural world in a way that feels open, beautiful, and alive.
For some, it’s about freedom—a final breath released to the wind, the water, or a sacred landscape. For others, it’s a spiritual act: ashes becoming part of the land they loved, or the sea they never stopped dreaming of.
Common natural settings include:
Oceans, rivers, and shorelines
Forest trails and mountaintops
National Parks
Flower-filled meadows or migration paths
Scattering allows a life to be honored without the barriers of walls or headstones—a legacy that lives in motion, not confinement.
2. Combining Ashes Honors Unity and Eternal Love
For couples or close companions, combining ashes before scattering can feel like a final affirmation of their bond. One story. One journey. One return.
Blending ashes is common in:
Partner ceremonies: Two sets of ashes blended into one vessel or scattered together
Family memorials: Parents and children remembered as one lineage
Shared resting places: A joint scattering on a mountain they climbed, or a beach they visited together
This kind of unity can be especially powerful after long marriages, shared lifetimes, or when one person’s wishes were to “rest beside them.”
3. Dividing Ashes Helps Prevent Family Conflict
Not everyone agrees on what should be done with cremated remains—and that’s okay. Choosing to divide ashes can ease tension and help every family member feel seen and included.
Benefits of dividing ashes include:
Allowing multiple family members to participate in separate ceremonies
Giving siblings or relatives equal opportunity to create their own tribute
Offering flexibility when people live far apart or practice different beliefs
Avoiding guilt, conflict, or indecision about a single “final” resting place
For families navigating grief and group decision-making, this option can offer immense relief.
4. Scattering Makes Travel Possible
Some people want their ashes to go where they couldn’t in life. Others want to be returned to a place that shaped them: a national park, a childhood shoreline, or a favorite hiking trail.
Scattering allows for that kind of dream fulfillment—even posthumously.
Examples include:
A mountain they always wanted to climb
A country they planned to visit
A bay they fished every summer
A garden they loved in spring
Unlike burial, scattering allows the memorial to move with the memory. And that movement can bring comfort.
5. Flexible Memorials Let Families Honor a Legacy Over Time
Grief doesn't operate on a schedule. Sometimes, families want to plan a ceremony immediately. Other times, they want to wait—until the right season, the right gathering, or the right place reveals itself.
By choosing to scatter or divide ashes, families gain:
The ability to hold multiple ceremonies over time
The chance to pause and reflect before deciding
Space for creativity—writing messages, hiking to a summit, releasing from a boat, or choosing multiple destinations
Ash scattering invites remembrance as a series of moments, not a single goodbye.
6. It Feels More Personal Than Burial
Traditional burial often involves institutions, rigid timelines, and high costs. By contrast, scattering ashes can feel:
More intimate
More natural
More aligned with the person’s life story
Families can plan ceremonies that include music, poems, or shared silence—on their own terms. There’s no pressure to perform. Just space to remember.
7. It’s Often More Affordable
While price isn’t the only consideration, it’s a practical one. Cremation followed by scattering often costs far less than burial with a casket, plot, headstone, and long-term maintenance.
Even with professional help, personalized scattering packages typically remain more accessible—especially for families spread out across the country.
8. There’s Room for Creativity, Ritual, and Meaning
Ash scattering doesn’t mean letting go without intention. In fact, it often invites more ritual, not less.
Families may:
Create a photo altar at the site
Say goodbye with handwritten letters, petals, or song
Include the ashes in a custom wooden plaque, jewelry, or keepsake
Choose a season or symbolic date (like a birthday or solstice) for their scattering
It becomes a tribute that reflects the uniqueness of the life it honors.
In Summary: Why People Scatter or Combine Ashes
People choose to scatter or combine ashes for many reasons:
To reflect unity between partners or family members
To avoid conflict by dividing ashes fairly
To create multiple memorials across meaningful places
To return to nature, rather than remain confined
To plan a tribute that feels authentic, creative, and peaceful
To travel, even in death, toward the places they loved
To give grief the space to unfold over time
There is no single right way. But there is a path that will feel right for you.
How to Scatter Ashes: A Practical and Meaningful Guide
Answers to Common Questions About Scattering Cremated Remains
Scattering ashes can be one of the most personal and powerful ways to say goodbye. But many families aren't sure how to begin. Can you divide ashes between loved ones? Where can you legally scatter them? Do you need permission?
In this guide, we’ll walk you through everything you need to know to plan a meaningful ash scattering—from choosing the right location to understanding legal and emotional considerations.
Can You Divide Ashes Between People or Places?
Yes, you can absolutely divide cremated ashes. In fact, many families choose to separate ashes into multiple portions to:
Scatter ashes in more than one meaningful location
Share with family members for future memorials
Keep a small amount in a keepsake or home urn
Use a portion in a memorial object (like a locket or plaque)
Dividing ashes allows for greater flexibility and personalization. You can hold one intimate ceremony now, and plan others over time.
👉 Related: How to Physically Combine or Divide Ashes
Where Can You Scatter Ashes Legally?
You can legally scatter ashes in many locations—but laws vary by state, city, and land ownership. Here’s a general overview:
✔️ Public Lands
National and State Parks: Scattering is often allowed with a permit and advance notice. Regulations vary by park.
Beaches and Shorelines: Typically permitted if done away from populated areas and in compliance with environmental guidelines.
Forests and Trails: Allowed in some locations with proper care and permits.
✔️ Private Property
You may scatter ashes on private land if you have written permission from the owner. This includes:
Family homes or cabins
Farmland
Privately owned nature preserves or cemeteries
✔️ Water and Air
At Sea: U.S. federal law allows scattering ashes at least 3 nautical miles from shore. The EPA must be notified within 30 days.
By Air: Legal, as long as no part of the container is dropped. Ashes must be released directly into the wind.
Always check with local or federal authorities, or consult a professional service to ensure compliance with laws and environmental guidelines.
How Do You Scatter Cremated Remains?
There are several ways to scatter ashes. Each method can be shaped by personal preference, religious or cultural practices, and environmental considerations.
✦ Casting Ashes into the Wind
The most common method. Ashes are poured into the air and allowed to drift naturally. Stand upwind to avoid blowback.
✦ Scattering Over Water
Ashes are poured into a flowing river, lake, or the ocean. You can also use a biodegradable urn that gently floats and sinks.
✦ Raking Ashes into Soil
Ashes are poured onto the earth and gently raked into the ground. This is ideal for gardens, forests, or backyards.
✦ Trenching or Ringing
Ashes are placed into a shallow trench or circle on the ground, then covered with soil. Some families add flower petals or messages.
✦ Aerial Scattering
Ashes are released from a plane or balloon, often over a chosen landscape. Requires professional handling.
👉 Tip: Bring water and a soft towel. Ashes are light and can cling to hands or clothing.
What’s the Best Place to Scatter Ashes?
The “best” place to scatter ashes is one that feels deeply connected to your loved one’s life, values, or spirit. Here are some ideas:
🌄 National Parks
For nature lovers, scattering in Yellowstone, the Tetons, or Glacier National Park offers breathtaking beauty and permanence.
🌊 Ocean and Beach Locations
The gentle rhythm of waves makes coastal scatterings deeply soothing. Consider sunrise or sunset for a more serene atmosphere.
🦋 Seasonal Wildlife Events
Some choose to scatter ashes during the Monarch Migration or Sandhill Crane migration, as a symbolic return to nature’s rhythm.
🌲 Personal Landmarks
A favorite trail, mountaintop, or quiet clearing where you once walked together. These spaces are often the most intimate.
How to Choose a Scattering Location That’s Right for You
Here are some guiding questions to help:
🌍 Did your loved one express a preference?
💛 Are there places tied to shared memories or family history?
🧭 Will you or others want to revisit the site in the future?
Would they prefer quiet seclusion, or wide, awe-inspiring vistas?
⚖️ Is the site legally accessible and environmentally safe?
Don’t feel pressure to pick the “perfect” spot. Some families hold more than one ceremony across time. Others keep a portion for later. You can start with one heartfelt scattering and leave room for the journey to unfold.
Can You Scatter Ashes Without a Ceremony?
Yes. While many families hold a formal service with poems, songs, or readings, others choose a quiet, solitary scattering. You can make it as simple or symbolic as you wish.
Ideas to add meaning:
Play a favorite song
Release flower petals alongside the ashes
Write messages and let them return to the earth or sea
Light a candle or moment of silence beforehand
Common Questions About Scattering Ashes
Can I divide ashes among family members?
Yes. It's common and completely legal.
Do I need permission to scatter ashes?
Yes—especially on public or private land. Always check regulations.
Where are you allowed to scatter ashes?
National parks (with permits), private land (with permission), and over water/air (with guidelines).
Do I have to scatter all the ashes at once?
No. Many people scatter a portion and keep the rest for future ceremonies or keepsakes.
How do I make the moment meaningful?
Personalize it. Use music, words, natural elements, or simply presence and reflection.
Next Step: Creating a Scattering Plan That Feels Right
Scattering ashes is not just about saying goodbye—it’s about choosing a place where love, memory, and nature meet.
You can take your time, revisit the decision, or speak to someone who’s done it before. Whether you're planning a solo trip, a family gathering, or a guided memorial, what matters most is that it feels true to the person you're honoring.
"Some goodbyes are whispered in the wind. Others are carried out to sea. All of them are sacred."
Every Detail Handled, Every Life Honored
Whether you are blending ashes to honor a marriage, a friendship, or a bond of blood or spirit, our role is to make the process gentle, clear, and meaningful.
We are here to answer questions, help with practicalities, and guide you through the sacred task of planning a final resting place that reflects a life well lived, and a love never lost.
📩 bonaventurememorial@gmail.com
🌐 Explore the Partners Tribute Package
📞 515-206-4845
“Some goodbyes are shared. Some love stories return to the earth in unison. And in those moments, nature becomes the witness of forever.”
